Category Archives: being bullied

It’s Time to Face Your Fear of Going Natural

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”┬áNelson Mandela

As a young person, I was constantly teased about SO many things.

  • My lips were too big.
  • We were poor, and couldn’t afford name brand clothing or shoes.
  • I was a total nerd and at one point I even wore glasses.
  • My Momma was really overweight and I was super skinny.
  • My hair would not grow in the areas of my head that I slept on.</>
  • I lived in the South, but couldn’t pass the brown paper bag rule.
  • We didn’t own a car.
  • I had asthma, so when I played really hard I would begin to wheeze.
  • I didn’t have “good” hair. Mine was nappy and all over the place.
  • Honestly, this list could go on and on and on and on. .

At some point in my early adulthood, I grew out of the awkward stage, and built enough wealth to where I was no longer at the poverty level, so I guess you could say that I finally made it. I made it past the point where I could say, “See, I’m not like that anymore.”
But the horrible thing about enduring a lifetime of bullying is that even when the bullies are gone, and you have transitioned from ugly duckling to beautiful swan, when haters have been replaced by loved ones, those insecurities that you built up over time are always there lurking in your subconscious. They can be really really quiet for a long stretch of time, but when you make a decision that you want to step out of the facade you created to show that you are better than what the bullies described you as, well those old insecurities get back in your ears. They begin whispering, “You’re gonna be ugly AGAIN.”
When I finally decided to stop perming my hair, it took me many months to actually pull the trigger.
What if my natural hair was not GOOD ENOUGH?

conqueryourfearThat’s what it comes down to. When you decide you want to live the natural hair lifestyle, you are in essence saying that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. And not everyone is ready. And even after you make the decision you have some work to do because you have to then address all those insecurities that were inspired by people who don’t even remember saying the ugly things they said, and don’t even know that their insults ruined your self confidence, self love, and self pride.

So, your decision to go natural has to be completely selfish and all about YOU. You are going to have to decide that you don’t need to hide your real hair texture to be be pretty enough. You have to know that without a shadow of a doubt that if your hair were not perfect for YOU, you wouldn’t have it on your head. It’s yours. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful even when other people were trying to make you feel ugly because beauty springs from within. So, if you’re waiting for that final push to decide to wear the hair you were born with, here it is. Just do it. Go natural.

And here’s everything you need to know when you finally make the decision to go natural.